When we were a child, we did not have wounds. Everything around us was beautiful and we had great trust in humanity. As we grow older, we are left with some scars here and there. Some call those scars experience but to me, true experience is the wounds that we have healed, not the experience that warns you not to trust again, not to believe in love or the world again. ‘Older and wiser’ does not mean not doing it nor you become more clever as to how to win in the game. ‘Older and wiser’ means that you still have trust and faith in love or your own beliefs even though you have been hurt before. ‘Older and wiser’ means that we do not let the past experience influence our own judgement when similar situation rises. ‘Older and wiser’ means that when you face the same problems again and you make efforts to solve those problems in a fair ground at the same time try to avoid making the same mistakes again. ‘Older and wiser’ means we have healed from the wounds and become fresh/light again.
In a love relationship, it’s very important that both parties have healed from their previous relationships before entering into a new one. If one of the parties or both parties carry their wounds into a new relationship. The relationship will have negative elements such as anger, jealousy, frustration, disappointment, mistrust etc. I have heard people saying that in the last relationship, they had been hurt, this time, they are not going to go that deep in love. They would rather let their love flowing on the surface and they remain careful with the new partner. But is it love? Can we really make a real connection with someone if we shut our heart in a cage? Love is about trusting and exchanging of heart of both parties. If love cannot float between the two, it’s very difficult to make connection and have rea understanding of partner.
In the case of both parties have not healed their wounds and enter a relationship, blaming and feeling insecure are the products. Some people seek healing and enter a relationship with the one who has healed. Troubles will rise as well because the one who has healed need to reassure and prove again and again to the one who has not healed. Love is about balancing the love energy. The one who always reassure and prove will end up getting drained because the one who has not healed has nothing(no love) to offer because they are careful with their heart.
So, before entering a new relationship. First we need to heal ourselves. Forgiveness is the main element. We have to forgive the partner who has hurt us. We have to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We have to understand that things happen the way they are meant to happen and blaming others or yourself is not the solution. We have to see the lessons after things end and see what you need to do to learn the lessons. We also need some time alone and not jumping into a new relationship right away to get healing from others. Maybe the lesson is to understand that you are fine even when you are alone. You are fine and do not need others to complete you. Once you understand that, you will not seek things/expect others to complete you. When two lacks are together, it will only form a hole. When two people who are content with themselves alone and be together, their relationship will be full of love and be able to share love with people around them. Only people who are happy with themsleves first will they be happy with their partners.So heal yourself first!